Disclaimer:  Paramount owns all things Star Trek Voyager.  I don’t.  Only borrowing                 

                     them. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Rating:          NC 17.

Summary:     When a crewmember loses his partner and unborn child, he blames

                      Kathryn Janeway.  Trapping her on the holodeck, he plays out his

                      terrible revenge on her, forcing Chakotay to watch helplessly.





The next two hours were the longest and worst of Chakotay’s life as he watched the woman he loved fight for her life.  Feeney would let her run and hide for some time and then catch her, each time beating or torturing her in some way, never inflicting too much damage that she couldn’t run again.  The imagers he had placed all over the holodeck showed everything in detail and Chakotay cried openly many times, watching the sick spectacle in front of him.

“For God’s sake B’Elanna, can’t you do something?  He’s killing her.”  The Engineer heard the anguish and pain in his voice and swiped at her own tears.

“I’m doing everything I can, I’m trying and…”  She shook her head to try and clear her emotions so she could concentrate.

“I’m sorry, B’El, I don’t mean to… it’s just so hard seeing…”  He felt her hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll get her back Chakotay, we will…”  She saw him drop his head, watching the screen again and the pain written on his face was almost corporeal.

“In what condition…”  B’Elanna just patted his shoulder, telling him of her support and went back to trying to solve the code.

Feeney had sent them five more numbers since the first one and Chakotay was afraid to look away in case he missed another clue.  Inwardly he cursed the sick bastard before him and planned out ways in which he would end his miserable life.  He looked up briefly and suddenly got a lump in his throat when he saw that Tom, Harry, Tuvok and the others working on the bridge, had all covered their screens, refusing to be witnesses to what their Captain was going through and denying Feeney the glory he sought from having them be onlookers to the torture he was inflicting on her.  B’Elanna’s voice broke into his thoughts, knowing what he was thinking.

“No one’s watching Chakotay.  The Doctor is keeping tabs just so he knows what to prepare for but every other terminal on the ship has been covered.  We tried turning them off but he has them rigged…  Not one person aboard will see this or hear it.  They all have music piped through to their sections so they can’t hear…”  Chakotay closed his eyes again but his tears still escaped.  The loyalty of Voyager’s crew to their Captain was something Feeney would never understand and Chakotay knew in that moment that even if Kathryn didn’t come through this, Feeney would still have lost.

He turned back to the screen again and saw Kathryn lean against a tree, her chest heaving with the effort of drawing air into her lungs.  Pain ripped through him as he looked at the numerous cuts and bruises on her face and body.  He saw her head snap round at some sound behind her and then move forward again, heaving herself away from the tree.  Suddenly he saw her stumble and the imager zoomed in on a trip wire and Chakotay watched in horror as he saw Kathryn fall towards some sharp wooden spikes imbedded in the ground in front of her.  At the last minute, he saw her desperately twist her body to try and fall clear of them and knew she had failed as her scream filled the bridge.  He watched horrified as Feeney appeared beside her, his laughter rising above her screams and Chakotay saw that Kathryn’s thigh had been impaled on one of the deadly spikes, blood pooling on the ground around it.  Feeney leaned down and pulled Kathryn off the pointed weapon, ignoring her screams of agony and the blood pouring from the gaping wound left in her leg.  He quickly tied a makeshift bandage around the terrible injury and shouted at her to get moving again.

“I’ll give you ten minutes this time whore.  Try not and leave a blood trail now.  Don’t want to make it too easy for me…”  His maniacal laughter followed Kathryn as she limped off into the trees.

Kathryn Janeway had never felt so helpless in her life, except when she had tried so desperately to save her Father and Fiancé from drowning as a young girl.  She ordered her failing body to push forward but it was barely listening to her any more.  She stopped briefly to try and tighten the piece of cloth Feeney had given her, trying to fashion it into some kind of tourniquet in an effort to slow her blood loss.  Already she could feel the light-headedness and nausea that came from so bad an injury but she knew she had to fight longer, that Chakotay and the others would try until the end to get her out of this hell.

Thinking of Chakotay quickly brought tears to her eyes as she thought of his gentleness and kindness but she quickly pushed these thoughts aside, knowing they would only weaken her, that she needed every ounce of concentration to try and get out of this.  She looked down at her feet, badly blistered and bleeding from the useless sandals she wore and groaning quietly, she bit her lip and forced herself on, the pain in her leg shooting up through her.  Every part of her body hurt from Feeney’s constant beatings and tortures.  Knowing that her entire crew, especially Chakotay, were witnessing her pain and humiliation ate away at her but once again she cleared her mind of this, needing to stay as sharp as possible.  Every small piece of Starfleet training came back to her and she tried her best to put it to good use but always Feeney was right behind her waiting to put her through more pain.  For one moment she considered refusing to run any more, but something inside her, something she had no control over, pushed her on to fight to the bitter end.  Kathryn Janeway was no quitter.

Out of nowhere, he was in front of her again and Kathryn pressed herself back against the rough surface of a tree, the bark painful against the many bruises marring her skin.

“You make this far too easy whore.  You’re a bad girl and bad girls get punished.”  He was on her before she had a chance to register his movement and he threw her to the ground, the soft earth cushioning the impact.  Kathryn lay on her back, pain racking her body and watched terrified as he drew a small device from his belt.  Feeney dropped to his knees before her, feeding off her fear and pain.

“You’re going to love this whore, but not as much as I’m going to…”  He pressed the device and a red glow appeared on the top of it.  He brought it down to Kathryn’s arm and she immediately felt the heat from it against her skin.  She tried to pull her arm away but his knee came over her chest and other arm, pinning her to the ground while one of his hands held her arm in place.  Kathryn screamed loudly as the searing heat of the device burned deeply into her flesh, her body almost convulsing with the pain.  Again and again he pressed the device to her body, on her legs and chest and then to her neck and face.  

“He’s not going to want to look at you now whore.  You’re scarred for life.  Still maybe some ugly alien might find it attractive.”  His laughter barely filtered through to Kathryn as she lay almost insensate on the ground, wave after wave of pure agony crashing over her.  Some part of her registered the fact that her body was going into shock and this time, she didn’t try and fight.  Seeing all this, Feeney unclipped a hypospray from his belt and pressed it to Kathryn’s neck.  Almost immediately the pain lessened but was still barely tolerable.

“I’m not ready for you to give up on me just yet whore.  There’s still more suffering for you before then.”  He hauled her up off the ground, leaning her against a tree until she managed to stand for herself.

“Same deal this time.  I’ll give you ten minutes and then the games resume.  Now move whore.”  He screamed at her and Kathryn found herself drawing on reserves of strength she never knew existed in her as she took a step, then another and finally managed to move off.

“Oh sweet God…  Kathryn…”  Chakotay turned from the console, his hands almost pulling his hair out.  Kathryn Janeway’s screams of agony echoed around the bridge, joined by Chakotay’s.  B’Elanna was with him immediately, nodding to Tuvok to take over watching until her old friend regained some control but Chakotay forced his eyes to remain on the screen, terrified of missing any clue that might help them get their Captain back to them.  B’Elanna held him tightly to her, supporting him physically and emotionally but kept her own eyes averted from the torture on the screen.

As Chakotay watched Kathryn stumble away again, he saw Feeney grin evilly on the screen and utter the word ‘nine’, before moving off once more.

Kathryn used every meditation technique she could remember learning from Tuvok to try and control the pain that raged through her.  She came to a small stream and immediately waded in, thinking only of the cool water soothing the burns which covered her body.   As the water eased the pain a little more, she found she could organize her thoughts better now and looked around her trying to decide the best way to go.  Forcing herself to leave the coolness of the stream, she pulled herself out onto the opposite bank and made for the thickest part of the woods, praying that the darkness within would become an ally for her.  She saw that the water had increased the bleeding from the wound in her thigh but ignored it.  Getting to the trees was all that mattered now.

“Anything?”  Chakotay paced in small circles, his eyes never leaving the screen for more than a second at a time.  B’Elanna bit her lip, concentrating deeply and trying to be almost Vulcan in shutting off her emotions.

“I’m…  He’s given us seven numbers so far…  It looks like the code contains nine…  that leaves two more…that’s unusual…it’s normally ten…”  Chakotay’s fear was starting to control him.

“I can count, B’Elanna.”  The Engineer jumped at the anger in his voice, losing her train of thought and looked at her Commander, knowing the pain he was going through.  “Oh God B’El, I’m sorry, it’s just…  we’re so bloody helpless…”  B’Elanna looked up quickly then back at her console.

“It’s all right.  Let’s just get through this.”  Chakotay patted her back and went back to the screen.

Kathryn fought her way through the thick undergrowth and came to a clearing, easing her way around it, trying to stay out of any open spaces.  She was trying to use the pain to keep sharp, rather than give in to it but was fighting a losing battle.  Her leg injury hindered her badly and the foliage constantly brushed against her burns which were weeping and blistering badly but she pushed on.  She had come to the conclusion that her usual compassion for someone like Feeney was wasted in these circumstances and instead made herself hate him, using one of the strongest emotions to help her fight him and fuel herself.  The other strongest emotion she knew of also helped her and she held that close to her too.  Chakotay’s face and the love she felt for him gave her more strength than anything and she clung to it. 

She barely managed to get to the other side of the clearing before she heard a twig snap somewhere behind her.  Sudden panic filled her when she spotted two imagers set up in the shrubs and immediately knew that something was meant to happen here, that Feeney planned it that way all along, knowing somehow that this was the direction she would head in.  A glow of light suddenly filled the clearing and Kathryn became aware of her heart pounding in her chest, instinct telling her that this would be the final showdown.

Chakotay watched Kathryn stop and study the area around her and realized at the same moment that something had been planned by Feeney for this spot.  He called over his shoulder for B’Elanna to hurry, knowing that pushing her wouldn’t help but needing to say something.  A greater fear than before grew inside him and he prayed desperately that Kathryn would get through this somehow.

Kathryn scanned the area around her but could not see beyond the light, the glow making the surrounding area appear even darker than it was.  Without warning, hands pushed her roughly from behind and sent her sprawling into the centre of the clearing.  Kathryn flipped over onto her back out of reflex but wasn’t quick enough to get to her feet before Feeney was standing over her.  He planted a foot in her chest and put his weight behind it, pinning Kathryn down, then dropped to his knees and straddled her, pulling a length of rope from his belt.  Kathryn struggled with what little strength she had left but she was no match for him.  He forced her hands up over her head and tied her wrists together tightly, the course binding eating into her flesh.  When he appeared satisfied with the tightness of his knots, he stood up and pulled her towards one of the smaller trees, where he secured the other end of the rope to the thin trunk.  He stood for several minutes just staring down at Kathryn, the play of emotions on his face twisting his features.  Kathryn watched as the emotions battled for supremacy until finally hate won and she knew that the end of the game had been reached and that he’d won.  She was helpless now against him and they both knew it.

Chakotay watched in horror as Feeney tied Kathryn to the tree and saw him stand over her, seemingly undecided as to his next move.  Chakotay knew he had never felt so helpless in his life.  If Kathryn died now at the hands of this madman, he would kill him first and then follow Kathryn.

Feeney looked down at the woman lying helpless beneath him.  He frowned down at her when he saw that hate and disgust filled her face rather than fear.

“If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.  It still won’t bring them back.”  Kathryn was determined to leave this life with as much dignity as she could muster.  She was not going to give this bastard what he wanted most.  Her words seemed to snap Feeney out of it and he grinned down at her as he pulled a small knife from his belt.

“What makes you think I’m going to kill you?  Maybe I have other plans for you first.”  He knelt down beside her, staring deeply into her eyes but Kathryn refused to let him see her fear.

“You know, this is where you belong Captain.  On your back.”  Feeney looked towards one of the imagers and gave an evil smile.  “Hey Chakotay, you’d better watch this next bit very carefully.  I’m going to give you another clue and this will be one that only you can understand.”  He stood and moved to another imager and moved it slightly then came back to Kathryn. 

“Is that better?  Can you see better now?”  Chakotay closed his eyes a second as the new picture filled the screen before him, giving him a clear view of both Kathryn and Feeney.

Feeney looked down at Kathryn again and almost tenderly stroked her cheek, his fingers brushing over the deep burn there.  Kathryn bit her lip from the pain but refused to cry out.  Her burns were agony now as some blisters had burst and the soil had stuck to them

“So tough aren’t you whore, all that arrogance?  Well not for much longer.  I’m about to break you good and proper.  When I’m finished with you, you won’t only be physically scarred but you’ll also be emotionally scarred for life.  Of course that life won’t be very long but still, I’ll take what I can get.”  He threw his head back and laughed, spittle covering his lips.

Chakotay gripped the edge of the console so tightly, pain shot up through his hands.  “B’Elanna please…  Oh God Kathryn, just hold on…”

Feeney moved now to straddle Kathryn and gazed down at her.  He slid himself down so that he was over her hips and played with the knife he held.  Kathryn struggled desperately to hide her fear and panic from the man, knowing it was the only weapon she had against him.  She pulled against the rope that bound her but the knots held.  Feeney slowly slipped the knife into the neckline of Kathryn’s dress and pulled downwards, the light fabric cutting easily against the sharp blade.

“Can you guess what game this is yet whore?  It’s one you’re well used to.”  He looked at her face a moment, checking her emotions before dropping his eyes to her chest again.  He cut the fine material away until Kathryn was exposed to the waist and she saw the gleam in his eyes as he looked her over.

“I think this will be one of the perks of the job.  Now all your crew will see what a whore they have for a Captain.”  He slipped the knife under her bra, cutting her and Kathryn gasped in pain but Feeney took it as fear.

“Good girl, that’s it.  How about a nice scream for Daddy now.”  With a quick flick of the knife, Kathryn’s bra cut open and Feeney pulled the material away, exposing her breasts to his eyes.

Oh Captain, is that all you have?  Jeez Chakotay, you must have been disappointed.  I remember you having much better in the old days.”  He saw something flash in Kathryn’s eyes and laughed then twisted her nipples painfully, kneading and pinching the soft flesh there.

“Oh yes whore,  he’s had ten times better than you.  Still, maybe the bottom end will be more promising eh?”  He slid further down, straddling her thighs now and continued cutting at the fabric of the dress.  The pain from his weight on the open wound of Kathryn’s thigh and her burns consumed her and she bit down heavily on her lip to keep from screaming out, her teeth cutting into her already split lip.

“How about that scream now whore?”  He looked back up at Kathryn and saw anger and hate blaze in her eyes.

“Burn in hell you bastard.”  Feeney backhanded her so quickly, she never saw it coming and it left her dazed.

“Oh to hell with this cutting.  I prefer my women with their clothes bunched up around their waists.  Looks cuter.”  He used the knife to cut away Kathryn’s panties then sat back and smiled at his work.

“Almost ready now whore.  Just have to spread those thighs of yours.  Still you’ve had one hell of a lot of practice at that, I’ll bet.”  He sat back off Kathryn and grabbed her legs, pulling them apart, then pressed his knees painfully between her thighs and settled himself over her, one hand working to free himself.

“You know whore, if you live through this, you’ll never have sex again after me.  You’ll never let a man near you again.  You’ll forever see my face lying over you, forever feel my prick pounding in and out of you, filling that filthy cunt of yours.”  Kathryn turned her head away, blocking out his words and fighting to blot out what was happening to her.  She tried desperately to look at the trees around her, take her mind somewhere else and think only of Chakotay but Feeney saw this and was having none of it.

“Oh no whore.  You’re staying with me for this.  I’m going to fuck all that superiority out of you and you’re going to feel every last thrust.”  His hands grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him.  One hand then gripped her hair tightly, holding her head in place while the other dropped and pulled her leg up, his fingers digging into the deep wound there, before he took hold of himself and pressed against her.

“I told you whore, you’ll never have sex again after me.”  He grinned down at her as he pressed harder against her.  Kathryn filled her face with every bit of hate she could and gritted her teeth against the agony surging through her and forced her words out.

“I won’t have sex but I will make love again and there’s nothing you can do about that.  I’ll never be your victim no matter what you do to me.  You can’t make me a victim, only I can do that.”  The hand holding her hair moved to her throat and he pressed down, cutting off her air.

“Brave words whore, but that’s all they are, just words.  I’m going to shaft you and there’s nothing you or any of those bastards out there can do about it.  You won’t be able to walk when I’m through with you.  I’ll have you moaning for more.  You’ll finally learn what it’s like to have a real man between your legs.”  He removed his hand and moved it back into her hair, twisting painfully and Kathryn sucked in air and bit her lip again, waiting for what was now inevitable.  She used every ounce of courage she had to hold her tears back, determined that he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing her weaken before him.

“It’s only my body.  You can’t beat me where it matters, can’t win…”  She desperately needed to fight to the end.

Kathryn heard Feeney’s scream of rage at the same moment she felt him force his way into her, pain ripping up through her and she screamed out, unable to stop herself.  She saw his eyes glaze over, was aware of him pulling her hair tighter, heard him grunting into her face, felt his hand pulling her leg up further and his painful thrusting as he ripped in and out of her.  She became aware of their bodies being pushed up from his pounding and felt her head strike the tree trunk, her hands and arms painfully bent behind her head.  The torture seemed to last forever but finally she sensed his pace quicken and then he shuddered and was quiet and Kathryn felt his fluid fill her and knew it was mixing with her blood, that she was badly torn.  She closed her eyes and tried again to shut everything out, even as she felt him become a dead weight on top of her.

Chakotay screamed out in anguish as he saw Feeney thrust into Kathryn for the first time and tears flooded his face as he heard her scream.  He was forced to watch the sick show before him as the man he knew he was going to kill, continued to rape the woman he loved.  Kathryn’s words filled his mind, echoing around his head and he felt a deep pride for her build, despite the agony his body and soul were enduring.  As he saw Feeney fall over Kathryn, he closed his eyes a second, praying for the strength he’d need to get her through this if they got her out alive.  He sensed B’Elanna beside him and knew she’d seen some of what had just occurred. 

“He didn’t give a number…  made me watch…”  B’Elanna knew he was desperately trying to hang on to the edge of his sanity.

“Chakotay…”  A movement on the screen caught her attention and they both looked together.  Feeney’s evil face stared back at them and his hand came up from between Kathryn’s legs, covered in blood and semen. 

“Well, what do you know, the whore bled like a stuffed pig.”  He turned back to Kathryn and wiped his hand on her face, smearing her own blood and his fluid across her.  “Hey man, you have my sympathy.  She’s one lousy lay.”  He laughed loudly to himself then turned back to the imager.

“Easy now Chakotay.  Here’s that clue.  Sorry I didn’t give it to you before but I was a bit busy.  See if you can work it out in time.”  He held his hand up and made a sign, first with his hand up, palm facing the imager and then a fist.

“There’s two numbers there, in order too.  See if you remember.  You’ve a few minutes before she bleeds to death.”  He got off Kathryn and pulled her up into a sitting position after cutting the rope tying her to the tree.  Kathryn’s face remained passive, no emotions written there as if she’d given up.

Feeney pulled out his knife and held it up then moved himself so that he sat behind Kathryn.  One of his hands went around her throat, pressing down on the burns there and he squeezed tightly as Kathryn gasped for breath, her hands coming up to try and pry his fingers loose as she choked.  Feeney let go when she seemed on the verge of passing out.

“Just trying to get your attention whore.”  He lowered his hands as Kathryn’s fell away and she gulped in air.  Looking into the imager first and then down at the woman lying against him, he brought the knife to her stomach and pressed it in deeply.  Kathryn’s body jerked up and a deep grunt came from her throat.  Feeney kept the knife in place and twisted it, blood already coming from the wound and spreading over the fabric gathered at her waist.  He twisted again and Kathryn’s head fell back onto his shoulder, her body arching up then falling back.  Finally he pulled the knife free and wiped it on Kathryn’s thighs, grinning the entire time.

“OK Maquis man, I reckon you have about five minutes before the whore bleeds to death.  After that, it’s your fault.”  He stood up and let Kathryn fall limply to the ground.  He knelt down and pulled the remains of her dress over her exposed thighs and breasts.

“Never let it be said that Joe Feeney isn’t a gentleman.”  He threw his head back and roared with laughter then disappeared from the screen, the imager zooming in on Kathryn as she lay there unmoving, blood seeping from the knife wound and spreading on the ground beneath her.