Disclaimer:      Paramount owns all things Star Trek Voyager.  I don’t.  Only borrowing                 
                      them. Etc. Etc. Etc.


Rating:            PG13.


Summary:         God, I hate trying to write summaries LOL.
                       This is mainly an angst story but there are babies in there.  I wouldn’t
                       call it a babyfic but that’s your decision….
                       
                        Back on Earth, Chakotay gets a visitor who makes him face his past, a past where
                        he turned his back on Kathryn when she needed him most.  Now she needs him
                        again.  Can he get past his own pain and guilt in order to be there for her this time? 



Note:

This story has taken a long time to finish and I left it and came back to it many times.  Finally it was finished – with much help (and persuasion).

So – thanks a million to –

Judy – my ever patient beta who read and re-read this and made so many helpful and useful suggestions and corrections, of which there were many.  She cracked her whip when needed, even when I probably drove her to madness.  Thanks, my friend – for everything.  I’d be lost without you.

Gine – who also read and re-read this until I was sure she’d hit me with it.  She became my mirror so many times as I worked through this.  Dear SS, your encouragement and friendship have been beyond words.  And…  You know what I mean.




MEMORIES AND DREAMS.

By Katlady.


Part Twelve.



The party was in full swing with laughter filling the house.  No uniforms were present, despite most of the guests being Starfleet related.  Many of Voyager’s crew were there, as well as Kathryn and Chakotay’s new friends at the Academy and Elizabeth Fulton and Philip Barrow and their families. 

It was early evening and many of the guests were children.  They played noisily in the garden with Miral as usual taking charge of Rose, determined to protect her little charge from the older children.

B'Elanna stood in a corner with Chakotay, watching her husband with Kathryn and several other crew members.  Tom was telling them a joke which had everyone in fits of laughter.

B'Elanna looked around, smiling at several images of Louise which were placed around the room.

She turned and looked at her oldest friend.  “I can’t help but notice all the images of Louise.”

Chakotay looked around as well and nodded.  “Kathryn wanted them on display for Rose and for us.  It was her idea.  In fact, she insisted on it.  She wants them there to always be seen.  She sees Louise as a part of our family.  She’s Rose’s mother and always will be.  Kathryn wants Rose to grow up knowing her own mother.”

B'Elanna shook her head in admiration.  “That says a lot about Kathryn.  Her strength amazes me.  She’s a remarkable woman.”

Chakotay smiled as his eyes travelled to his wife.  “Yes she is, and I’ll dedicate the rest of my life trying to be worthy of her.”  He smiled at the look on his friend’s face.  “B'Elanna, I’m only human.  Despite all the counselling I’ve been to I know I’ll always have some guilt over the way I treated her.  It won’t ever go away or leave me and I can’t change that, but I have learned to accept it, live with it and move on.  Isn’t that what matters most?”

B'Elanna squeezed his hand.  “Yes, it is.  And it’s wonderful to see you both so happy.”

Chakotay turned his hand and squeezed hers back.  “We couldn’t be happier.  Kathryn’s sister even got in touch.”

B'Elanna’s eyes widened at that.  “Really?”

He nodded.  “It’s early days but they’re talking.  I have great hopes for the Janeway sisters.”

She leaned up and kissed him.  “It’s everything you both deserve.” 

He nodded, watching Kathryn closely.  “It’s a dream come true.”

^^^^^^^^^^

B'Elanna smiled at Kathryn as she passed by with a tray of food later in the evening.  “Kathryn, the new house is just beautiful.  I love it.”

Kathryn smiled and looked around her.  “I love it too.  We made the right choice in moving.  Chakotay insisted anyway.  He wanted somewhere new where we could make a fresh start, somewhere we both picked together.  And Rose has settled in so well, which is icing on the cake.”

B'Elanna smiled and nodded at that then patted Kathryn’s rounded stomach.  “And how is Junior this evening?”

Kathryn freed a hand to stroke her bump.  “He’s fine.  Active…but fine…”  She looked up into the eyes of her friend.  “And I’m fine too, before you ask again.”

B'Elanna shrugged.  “I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t check.”

Kathryn ran her hand over B'Elanna’s matching bump.  “And how’s your little guy?”

B'Elanna groaned at that.  “He’s still playing hoverball in there.  Only another month and not a moment too soon.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes.  “Three more for me.”  She stroked her stomach softly.  “I’m not in any hurry though.  I’m finally at peace with this and I intend to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.”

B'Elanna reached for her hand and squeezed it.  “I know it was hard for you at first, especially with him being a boy…”

Kathryn sighed at that.  “Yes, it was hard and thank God Elizabeth was there for me.  She was a great help.”  She smiled then.  “Now we’re just looking forward…waiting for our new little boy…a brother for Rose.”  She drew in a deep breath.  “Forward…never back.”

^^^^^^^^^^

When the last guest had left, Chakotay finally managed a few minutes alone with his wife.  “How are you doing, love?”  He stroked over her swollen stomach.  “And how’s our son?”

Kathryn laughed as she leaned back against him.  “Quiet for the moment.  He’ll wait until we’re in bed before he starts.”

He leaned down and whispered to her bump.  “Give your mother a break, young man.  She needs her sleep.” 

Kathryn shook her head as she watched him.  “You think he’ll listen?”  She laughed again.  “I’ll just be happy to get off my feet.  Swollen ankles are not attractive.”

Chakotay hugged her.  “Everything about you is attractive.”  He nuzzled her neck.  “Everything.”

Kathryn swatted at him.  “Down boy.  That’s what got me in this condition to start with.”

He smirked at that.  “Well, he’s a good contraceptive, isn’t he?  You can’t get pregnant.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes at that.  “I’m sure you see some logic in there somewhere.”  She kissed him softly.  “Did you enjoy our house warming?”

He nodded as he called for the lights off and led his wife up the stairs to bed.  “It was perfect.  And you’re perfect.  It’s all perfect.” 

She hugged him when they reached the landing.  “Yes, it is.  And it’s great to finally feel at peace with that.  I’m not looking over my shoulder waiting for something to go wrong anymore.  I’ve finally taken my memories and turned them into dreams.  Our dreams.  And now they’ve become reality.  It doesn’t get much better than that.”

He kissed her softly.  “I love the sound of that.”  He walked them towards the bedroom.  “Computer…landing lights out.”


^^^^^^^^^^



THE END.



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